Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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