ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
