she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
he just fucked me for my cheese..
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
