Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize