he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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