im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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