the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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