I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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