grandma shit on top of the toilet
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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