So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
