We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
