this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
