who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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