things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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