I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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