Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
