I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Two words: blizzard sex
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
