There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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