No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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