Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize