well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I need moral support for this bender
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
