Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
