great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
