So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
