Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
