im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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