you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
