I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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