it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
