Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
