we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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