well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
