I faked an abortion last night.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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