you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
