I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
