This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
