my vag is so smooth its legendary
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Randomize
