I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
