he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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