He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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