sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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