how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just want nice things and good sex
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
