Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
