Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Two words: blizzard sex
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize