Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
All the doctor said was why
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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