btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize