And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
