The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
