she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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