i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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