Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
