how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
