Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
