I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
