"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
