3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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