We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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