All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
