just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
