soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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