I got chris browned last night
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
