Christians are straight up FREAKS
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
