i already hear my dad disowning me
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
