I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
