Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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