Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
