In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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