I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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