are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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