I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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