I didn't shave. On purpose
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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