what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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