HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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