her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
