Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I am naked and annoyed.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
